It is not often these days that college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real life romances that got sealed in marriage. Read on...
Pooja and Abhijeet SrivaStava , believe love and commitment go hand in hand. And that when one person is in a temper, it helps for the other to be silent
Ten years of togetherness, and six years of marriage have only reiterated the belief they started out with: if you love someone, have the courage of conviction to commit.
And never mind what the horoscope indicates.
“It cannot be any other way,” says 34-year- old Abhijeet Srivastava, senior manager at Knight Frank. “At least not for us. We have always believed in the institution of marriage.”
Flashback to 2005. The Srivastavas’ story starts like most college romances do: girl meets boy on campus. They are thrown together by a common group of friends; they find each other compatible—bonding over books, hot cups of chai in the canteen, movies, outdoor trips and the assorted rituals of college life that make it so memorable.
They realise their feelings go beyond mere friendship; perhaps it would be an idea worth exploring to umm...get married?!
“She proposed to me,” says Abhijeet. But Pooja (31) has a different version. “He held me to it. He told a common friend that he wanted to know how, after six months of togetherness on campus, I felt about him. He wanted a straightforward answer.”
So, she indeed gave him one. At the famous cafeteria of the Jehangir Hospital where all collegians would hang out in the after-hours.
“It was a sweet and simple moment. One that I’ll never forget. We were waiting for other friends to join us when she told me that she could see us spending our future together,” shares Abhijeet.
Of course, like every couple they had their ups and downs. “I remember we had a massive argument just before our college tour to Devgarh. Both of us were upset. Neither was willing to make the first move,” reminisces Pooja.
Both got into different buses—not willing to sit next to each other. However, a faculty member who knew about their courtship noticed the empty seat next to Pooja.
“He actually made the buses stop, and asked Abhijeet to come and sit next to me,” she laughs.
As for the parents, they had their doubts. But not profound ones. “He is from Gorakhpur, whereas I was brought up in Nagpur along with my other two sisters. Dad passed away sometime back, so mostly, it’s been just us sisters and mom. He is the only son of his parents, and they were most concerned that he made the right choice,” smiles Pooja.
To add to the anxiety their horoscopes did not match. “Quite frankly, my family doesn’t believe in horoscopes,” shrugs Pooja.
But even when the duo decided to put that behind them, Pooja’s mom had another wish: that the couple wait for a year so Pooja’s sister
who was in the US could attend the nuptials. “Well, there were moments of uncertainty. A year is a long time. Besides, we had known each other long enough: first the two year MBA course, followed by our first jobs together in Mumbai,” shares Abhijeet.
However, eventually things did come together—and they were wed in 2009 amidst much fanfare.
From the beginning, the Srivastavas have lived by themselves as a nuclear unit. So do they believe this works over staying with parents?
“It’s not so simple,” says Abhijeet. “We did not have a choice. Both parents are not from Mumbai. But I do believe both joint family units and nuclear set ups can work, with maturity and understanding from both generations.”
Both Abhijeet and Pooja are different people with different inclinations—but in harmony with each other. While abhijeet is the talkative one, Pooja is understanding and serene
Both Abhijeet and Pooja are different people with different inclinations—but in harmony with each other.
“I like that she is understanding and serene—whereas I am the talkative one,” grins Abhijeet. “I like photography and travel, whereas she loves to read and write. (Post the birth of their son Yajat about two years ago, Pooja has made a 180 degree career switch to content-writing and training.)
“She just loves to do this, so it makes sense for her to follow her heart,” says Abhijeet.
But to juggle home, work and baby in Mumbai all by themselves needs solid tuning and teamwork. “By day, she looks after the baby with the help of the maid, even as she works at her desk, going out only to interview people,” says Abhijeet. “I help out by paying a little attention to all that’s happening in the kitchen, and taking charge of the kid when I am home.”
Memorable moments and ‘us’ time—though quite rare for the parents of a young baby--- include photographing each other and short vacations at different hill-stations around the country. “We recently created a portfolio of photographs for each other for our Facebook page on photography,” laughs Pooja. “It was good fun.”
Despite the mutual camaraderie, things get tough at times and tempers fly. “We are both short-tempered, but it helps when one person does the listening,” says Abhijeet.
So what does it take to make a marriage work in a city like Mumbai? “Saving up enough before marriage, so you can spend time together post the wedding. Getting reliable help around the house so you don’t have to be burdened by chores, and above all, listening to and understanding the aspirations of the other person,” they say.
Given the backdrop of failed marriages in the corporate world, how did the twosome decide to take the plunge? Wasn’t there any sense of hesitation?
“None,” refutes Abhijeet. “If you care for someone, have the courage to commit. Don’t hurt feelings. By and large, women are more sensitive and take time to get over the trauma of a break-up. I would never do that to someone I love. In fact, as far as we both were concerned, if it didn’t lead to marriage, it just wasn’t worth it. Live-ins are not something that I personally believe in.”
“This is what I like best about him,” says Pooja quietly. “He is straightforward. He’s not a flirt but someone who is respectful of women’s feelings.”
Does having a partner from a similar corporate background help?
“It depends,” says Abhijeet, carefully. “To the extent that you are accepting of each other’s career graphs and avoid comparisons, it’s great. The moment a sense of either superiority or inferiority creeps in, there’s trouble.”
For her part, Pooja believes: “Every relationship needs to be supported by the pillars of trust, understanding, respect and comfort. It takes time and patience and effort.”
By Kalyani SardeSai
